Reconnecting With My Childhood Self

Have you ever had the chance to revisit the hometown you grew up in?

For me, I’ve been returning to my hometown in Iwate Prefecture almost every year since 2023. The home that once held only childhood memories has slowly become a place filled with new friends, new memories, new perspectives - and even new furniture.

When I first revisited my great grandmother’s home (which is now my grandma’s place), I used to cry at night. I missed the old memories that were still deeply stored in my brain. The moment I tried to sleep, it felt like immediate flashbacks would come rushing back.

It’s strange how our brains can do that.

But over time, as the years passed, new memories slowly replaced the old ones. New people entered my life, and eventually, I stopped longing to return to my childhood self. In a way, it felt like I was finally able to heal what some might call their “inner child.”

Fast forward to 2026.

This year, I flew from Maui to help my childhood friend run her crepe shop. At 26 years old, she decided to start a crepe business without any prior experience running a company. Now, she’s already thinking about opening a second location because she wants more people to taste/experience her crepes.

At first, I remember asking her, “Why crepes?” 

It wasn’t her lifelong dream. She didn’t spend years studying crepes. But there’s something special about what she makes. Every ingredient, every idea, every detail feels filled with love. And somehow, you can taste that. Her crepes are simply comforting, filled, and genuinely delicious.

I recently visited the shop with another friend. I ordered the simplest crepe on the menu - chocolate banana - while my friend chose a seasonal matcha crepe.

I truly hope that if you ever visit Iwate Prefecture someday, you’ll get the chance to try one.

While helping at the shop, my friend and I spent hours talking. 

We talked about how both of our parents divorced around the same time. We talked about how we both moved away at ten years old. We talked about how neither of us came from an easy life, yet somehow we’re both here - trying to prove something to ourselves by choosing unconventional paths and learning how to stand on our own feet. 

We talked about a lot of things.

At one point, we wondered if our lives would have been different if we had grown up in what people call a "loving family.” 

But then again.. Who gets to define what a loving family really is? 

We also talked about never wanting our future children to experience the way we did. There’s a certain loneliness that comes from growing up feeling emotionally distant from your parents - especially when you’re too young to fully understand what’ s happening around you.

And then there’s the painful realization of watching our grandmothers grow older. 

The only advice I could give her was…. “Spend as much time with your grandmother as possible. Crepe memories together now while you still can.”

From the outside, especially to travelers and foreigners, Japan is often romanticized… But the reality is more complicated.

Japan continues pushing toward this idea of “perfection” which often means convenience, efficiency, and order. But sometimes I wonder if that is the thing that’s slowly exhausting people living in the society. The pressure to maintain perfection can become heavy. I think heaviness is creating more problems that many Japanese don’t openly talk about.

For my very first blog, maybe it went a little too personal and maybe a little too emotional. 

But this sis who I am, and I don’t want to change that.

So, I want this blog to be a place that feels raw, honest, emotional,and sometimes uncomfortable. A place where I can share my thoughts and experiences about japan, life, relationships, and growing up.